The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse!
The Undead are Social and we are thusly blogging The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse. Keep calm. Carry on. Aim for the head.
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13 posts tagged Sex
I liked the anon question about linking the zombie desire for food with a desire for reproduction- very vampiric in a way, as vampires have always been associated with a primal sex/food hunger. Zombies are the new vampires?
deviouslydramatic
Zombies are and always have been the new vampires. And of course zombie survival enthusiasts are clearly more sophisticated. We too are intrigued by the sexual nature of a zombie bite.
First a compliment, then a question. I find your vast knowledge of zombies and the coming apocolypse to be of the finest. Infact, it's fitting under the category of attractive. That being said it brings me to my question. In the zombie apocolypse is it good to be with a partner or signifigant other? Is it good to have romance involved in this partnership, or would it make you weak? Or if it is good to stick with one person in general? Thanks!
lnolauren
First, a blushing, then an answer:
Thank you for your loyalty to survival of the inevitable zombie apocalypse. We too find smart survivors attractive.
And yes, it is almost essential to have a partner and/or significant other during the inevitable zombie apocalypse. We advance the notion that survival of humanity depends on the retention of humanity, and, therefore: love, sex, romance, affection and all the trappings of attachment. This is not a liability. This is survival.
Would you ever consider having sex with a zombie?
Anonymous
Are you insane? Who the hell screws a mindless, rotting, corpse?
Oh, right.
Sex Tips for Zombies
1.) No Cure for Crotch Rot
This is the number-one enemy of zombies trying to hook up. Ongoing bodily decay means that your junk will probably fall off at some point. So don’t encourage it by yanking too hard when you jerk off. If you notice you’ve dropped something crucial, pick it up and try to superglue it back on.
2.) Playing with Your Food
Besides being tasty and containing the nutrients that zombies need, brains make an excellent lube for jacking off or intercourse. And if you lick up the gray matter afterwards, you don’t have to waste a drop of precious amino acids.
If your boyfriend/girlfriend turned into a zombie... what would you do with him/her??
fuckeduplegacies
You mean other than zombie shag?
If she was hot, I may or may not tie her down and shag her. I can neither confirm nor deny that.
Anonymous
Zombie-shag? Fer rills? Like this?
Un-Fucking-Believable:
Requirements:
Be attractive — sorry, I know, an attractive zombie, but it’s possible. HWP, at the very least.
Know how to *act like a zombie*. I am specifically looking for someone with *zombie experience*. In San Francisco, I don’t think this is asking a lot.
Be able to *look like a zombie*. This means dressing the part and knowing how to appropriately do your makeup.
Don’t be shy. You’re going to be dressed like a zombie and growling and groaning and spattering fake blood and all else everywhere. In public. To an audience that may not even be that into it (but I bet they will be!)
Best. Ad. Ever!
“In Soviet Russia … Zombie Sex!”
SEEEE??
THIS KIND OF THING CRACKS UP MY LIFE.
the way internet flows :)
“IN SOVIET RUSSIA….ZOMBIE SEX” LMAO.
